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Feathers, handcuffs or massage on Valentine’s Day?

Category:Sex & desire

A sexologist’s best tips for how to spice up your sex life on Valentine’s Day.

Quick kisses and casual sex are fine, but sometimes it can be nice to do that little bit extra that makes sex something out of the ordinary. And what better day to do so than on Valentine’s Day, the day of love?!

“Sometimes, a quickie during Bolibompa is great, but it’s also good to set aside a whole day or evening just for sex. Start with a bath with oil to get relaxed. A glass of bubbly and some scented candles can also help you unwind and get you ready for sex, regardless of whether you are going to have sex with yourself, someone else or a few others,” says Suzann Larsdotter, sexologist at RFSU.

Sometimes, a quickie during Bolibompa is great, but it’s also good to set aside a whole day or evening just for sex. Suzann Larsdotter, sexolog, RFSU

To relax even more and build yourself up for what’s to come, a sensual massage can be wonderful.

“You can, for example, massage each other using the red, green and yellow method. Green is something you think is nice, red is something you don’t like and yellow is something you can imagine exploring more but aren’t completely convinced about,” says Suzann Larsdotter.

To prolong the pleasure further, you can avoid sex at all at first – it will make you want it even more later!

Show up with sex toys

After the massage, you can continue exploring. Set out a tray of sex toys and massage oils and let your partner choose what to use.

Or why not let them choose three things to use on you? If you’re single, do the same! Go through the box of sex toys or take time for a moment on your own to work out which one would be the most pleasurable.

Try out new fantasies on Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day can also be an opportunity to test all the things you thought about but don’t get around to trying out in your everyday life. What do you and your partner, or partners, dream of trying?

“Why not spice up your sex life with a little bondage and spanking? If you’re not very experienced, you can start by restraining them with a bathrobe cord or just a symbolic sewing thread if the other person doesn’t like the idea of being tied up. And for those with experience, there is an abundance of ropes and handcuffs to work with.

Spanking is also something that can feel both nice, a bit forbidden and exciting. But start carefully.“The butt is a good place to start. But take it easy at first, not everyone likes to be hit with full force.”


Go wild with feathers and brushes

If bondage and spanking aren’t your thing, there are of course, plenty of other things to try on Valentine’s Day. Caress your partner with a feather or rummage through your hobby drawer and find a brush.

“One of my favorite tips is to have one cup of boiling water and one of ice-cold water. Dip in brushes and alternate between the two. This provides really special sensations and the whole body becomes a kind of single erogenous zone.

Another way to enhance feeling and increase a sense of presence is to blank out one of the senses. You’ll be surprised how much difference it can make.

“Try putting a blindfold or a pair of earplugs on your partner. When you block out one of the senses, others are enhanced and you get more sensitive.

Add extra spice to sex with by taking your time  

No matter what type of sex you and your partner enjoy, allow it to take time. Let Valentine’s Day be a day when you make sex a full-body experience and release all stress and demands.

“Use all your senses to have sex. Use music and give your partner something good to drink. Give your partner two hours where you offer to do whatever they want. And if you have a partner with a clitoris, don’t give in at the second or third orgasm. Continue stimulating or wait a few minutes and try again. Take your time and see how far you can go.

Last updated: 2023.10.04