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The expert: how to have good anal sex

Category:Sex & desire

It’s exciting, a bit taboo and needs treating with caution. But if you handle it properly, it can open up a world of enjoyment. We are, of course, talking about the anus. RFSU sexologist Suzann Larsdotter explains everything you need to know about anal sex.

For many, the anus and anal sex are associated with some taboo, and there may be some resistance to exploring this particular part of the body. But anyone who refrains from anal sex risks missing out on a lot of pleasure. The anus is an erogenous zone with lots of nerve endings that make the area highly sensitive.

Anal sex can bring a new kind of sensation and a stronger sexual experience. The fact that it is a bit forbidden can also add an extra dimension. Suzann Larsdotter, Sexologist, RFSU

How to get started

“Anal sex can give you a new type of feeling and a stronger sexual experience. The fact that it is a bit forbidden can also add an extra dimension,” says Suzann Larsdotter.

For the uninitiated, the step to penetrating anal sex can seem like a long one. But putting something up there is really not a must to enjoy anal sex.

“Anal sex is much more than penetration and you don’t absolutely have to insert anything. You can caress, lick and content yourself with external stimulation. But use a lubricant, it makes it more pleasant,” says Suzann Larsdotter.

For those curious about anal sex, it may be a good idea to explore it first on your own. If you like it, you can then invite a sexual partner.


Why anal sex should not be rushed

For those who want penetrative anal sex, there are a number of ways. But there are also some things that can be good to think about. The anus consists of two sphincters, one external and one internal, and they need to be treated carefully, otherwise there is a risk that it will hurt, rather than feel good.

We can control the external sphincter at will, and that is the one that we need to relax in order for sex not to hurt. On the other hand, we cannot control the internal sphincter, it relaxes under pressure. But you have to be careful and take it easy.

“You have to get the muscles to work together, otherwise it can hurt. If you are going to have penetrative anal sex, you both have to relax and then wait for the internal sphincter to react to the pressure and relax. I usually say that you have to knock on the door and wait. If you knock on the door and no one opens it, you should not enter. But if the door opens, you are welcome,” says Suzann Larsdotter.

“It is also good to insert the penis or anal plug a little bit at a time, then stop for a moment before inserting it another bit until you can move the penis or anal plug back and forth.


Anal sex can provide different pleasant sensations

Anal sex can provide many different types of pleasure. You simply need to test it yourself to see what you like best. Some people think the biggest turn on is to be caressed or licked around the opening itself, others like to be penetrated. But even penetration itself can be done in lots of different ways.

“Some people like it when you put a finger, an anal plug or the penis in and out, while others don’t think the penetration itself is so pleasant. It is very individual,” says Suzann Larsdotter.

For those who have a prostate, anal sex can be extra nice. The man’s equivalent to the G-spot, the so-called P-spot, is accessed via the anus. “For people with a penis, there is a point 5-8 cm in. The point sits against the front rectal wall and feels a bit like a walnut. Many people like to be stimulated there,” says Suzann Larsdotter.

Hygiene during anal sex

Some refrain from anal sex because they’re worried about hygiene, but this is often an exaggerated fear. Before sex, you can wash the area around the anus, but doing an anal rinse is not a good idea. It removes the body’s natural bacteria.

“If you are not in need of doing a poo, the lower part of the intestine is empty. On the other hand, there may be remains of poo, but that is simply something to be reckoned with if you are going to have anal sex,” says Suzann Larsdotter.

It is also important to remember that neither body parts nor sex toys should be switched  between the anus and the vagina.

“If you are going from anal sex to vaginal sex, you must wash yourself or the sex toy properly first. Or you can use a condom that you remove or change before inserting anything into the vagina.”

Extra important to protect yourself during anal sex!

Another important thing to consider when having anal sex is to protect yourself.

“The intestinal mucosa absorbs bacteria and viruses more easily, so it is actually extra important to use a condom when having anal sex. It is also important to remember that you must be tested for venereal diseases locally. So, if you fear that you have contracted chlamydia through anal sex, you must take a sample locally in the anus. And if you want to lick someone around the anus, it’s good to be vaccinated against hepatitis B, which can otherwise be transmitted that way,” says Suzann Larsdotter.

“Having said that, give this forgotten part of the body a chance. It can pay unexpectedly nice dividends!”


Last updated: 2023.10.04